How Couples Get Out of Debt

Once you’ve found the person you want to spend your life with, you no doubt want to keep your relationship strong. Learning to talk to your partner about debt could help you avoid financial problems, and possibly other conflicts as well. Here are some simple tips for talking to your partner about debt so you can overcome it and build a great life together.

1. Be Honest

A 2025 Bankrate survey found that 40% of people in relationships admit they have committed financial infidelity by hiding a purchase or not being honest about debt. Keeping secrets could cause your financial issues to escalate, but it could also drive a wedge between you and your partner, making it harder to work together. 

When you’re honest with your partner, it makes for a more solid relationship—and that includes talking about money. If you’re entering a relationship with debt, be upfront about it. Share the amount of debt, what it’s costing you, and how it impacts your other financial goals. And if you feel it’s relevant, explain to your partner why you got into debt, and how it makes you feel. 

At the same time, ask your partner about their debt and, if necessary, come up with a debt relief plan together. That could mean working jointly to consolidate your debt, or using debt settlement to help manage your debt. 

You May Like These

The Gift of Financial Freedom - How to Avoid Holiday Debt

What is Unsecured Debt?

Emergency Funds: How to Prepare for the Unexpected

2. Be Open About the Changes You’re Willing to Make

If you’re eager to pay off debt, it could mean changing your spending habits. And those changes could impact your partner, too. 

One reason some people get into debt is that they don’t track their spending, or they increase their spending as their earnings rise without realizing they’ve taken on too much. If that’s happened to you, it may be time to buckle down and reduce your spending, especially on extras. But if you decide to reduce your own spending, you may effectively be asking your spouse to do the same.

If you stop eating out to save money to pay off your credit cards, for example, you’re also asking your partner to eat at home for the foreseeable future. If you decide not to take a vacation this year, you’re probably looking for your partner to stay home, too. 

When you talk to your partner about debt, share the changes you’re comfortable making, and ask them what changes they’re willing to embrace. You can also comb through your credit card bills together to identify expenses you could reduce.

While you’re talking about debt, share the changes you aren’t willing to make, too. If your partner suggests downsizing your living space but you feel that would have a negative impact on life, say so. It’s better to make compromises now than build up resentment later.

3. Support Each Other

Maybe you and your partner got into debt because of an unlucky string of emergency expenses that drained your savings, like back-to-back home and car repairs. Or maybe one of you was ill for a time, taking unpaid time off from work while racking up medical bills. 

These are hard situations, and having leftover debt can add insult to injury. That’s why it’s so important to support each other logistically and emotionally in the course of paying off debt.

Of course, you need a solid action plan, too. Budgeting and cutting back on spending, for instance, are great ways to get out of debt. But also, when you talk to your partner about debt, use encouraging language and help them celebrate their wins, just like you’d want them to celebrate yours. 

For example, you could set a debt payoff milestone and work toward it together. When you get there, mark the occasion with something special, like cooking a nice meal to share. 

Look for ways to give both of you positive reinforcement along the way. If your partner says no to a last-minute invite out with friends, tell them you appreciate that choice to save money.

4. Set Attainable Goals

If you hope to get rid of debt soon and so does your partner, set yourselves up for success. That means setting attainable goals. 

For example, paying off $10,000 or more on your credit cards could be well within your means, given enough time. But if you push yourselves to pay off a large debt in just three months, you risk being disappointed. 

Set reasonable goals you can work toward together. Give yourselves the freedom to explore different avenues for making your debt easier to pay off. Debt consolidation is worth discussing when you talk to your partner about debt. Similarly, if one of you has lost a job and it’s taking a long time to find work again, you may be a good candidate for debt settlement.

5. Make It Into a Game

Talking with your partner regularly about debt is a good thing. But those discussions are probably serious in nature. If you want to keep yourself and your partner motivated, suggest making an occasional game of your discussions.

For example, one week, you and your partner could have a friendly contest to see who can save more money at the supermarket. Another week, challenge one another to shave money off your utility bills. Having a little fun on the road to paying off debt is perfectly okay. Healthy money games could help you both stay positive about working to create a better financial future. 

6. Know When to Seek Help

If talking to your partner about debt doesn’t lead to productive solutions, it could be time to bring in the experts. That could take a lot of the pressure off, and help you feel more positive about your financial situation. 

Debt relief programs exist to offer people who are overwhelmed with debt a lifeline. If your partner isn’t on-board with getting help, read up on the benefits of debt relief so you can explain the positives. The two of you could research debt relief companies so you’re both part of the decision-making. When you’re ready to talk to an expert, do so together so you can discuss your options privately after you’ve gotten the information you need. Freedom Debt Relief provides a free, no-obligation debt analysis.

7. Discuss a Joint Debt Repayment Plan

Maybe you and your spouse got into debt separately, such as if one of you borrowed a lot for college, and the other came into the relationship with credit card debt. Or maybe you racked up debt together to pay for your wedding or cover your bills while one of you was unemployed. 

Whether you accrued your debt individually or jointly, talking to your partner about a debt repayment plan is a good way to turn those conversations into positive, productive ones. 

One way to strengthen your relationship while you ditch your debt is to come up with a debt repayment plan. When you work as a team, you could develop even more of a bond. 

There are different methods you can use to pay off debt as a couple. Two common ones are the snowball method and avalanche method.

With the debt snowball method, you tackle your debts from smallest balance to largest. So if you have a $1,200 personal loan balance, $8,400 student loan balance, and $9,500 credit card balance, you pay off your debts in that order. The snowball method allows you to celebrate wins in your debt payoff journey, something you might enjoy as a couple.

The debt avalanche, meanwhile, focuses on minimizing how much you spend on interest. To do that, you pay off your debts in order of highest interest rate to lowest.

Going back to the example above, let's say the interest rate on your credit card balance is 19%. Your student loan interest rate is 6.39%, and your personal loan interest rate is 7.5%. With the avalanche, you tackle the credit card balance first, then the personal loan, and then the student loan.

You may also decide to consolidate your debts into a single loan or credit card balance. The key is to talk through your options and figure out which one is easiest and keeps you motivated. 

For any of these strategies, it’s important to follow a budget together. Create a budget jointly, and schedule time each week for a check-in so you can both make sure you’re sticking to your end of the bargain. You may want to include a little discretionary money in the budget so each of you can spend on yourselves without having to check in with the other, or having it impact your debt payoff goals. 

Looking for debt relief in Sacramento, CA or across the country? The first step is the most important one—learn more.

8. Expect Emotions and React with Empathy

Talking to your partner about debt isn’t the same as discussing your favorite TV show. The conversation could—understandably—get emotional. Be prepared to react with empathy if talking about debt triggers some tough emotions in your partner. And if you feel upset, don’t bottle it up. Remember, you and your partner are in this together. Be prepared to support each other and lift each other up as needed.

9. Schedule Regular Money Talks 

Talk to your partner frequently about debt. You may want to carve out a regular time to discuss your debt, especially if you’re still paying it off.

Even when you’re debt-free, it’s a good idea to discuss your feelings about money. For example, you may be ready to buy a house together someday. But if you’re conflicted about taking on a mortgage, that’s something to talk about. 

10. Figure Out the Right Communication Strategies

Good communication is the key not only to managing debt as a couple, but to making things work smoothly in general. Consider the best communication strategies to use when you talk to your partner about debt. That could mean choosing your setting carefully—since debt can be a sensitive topic, you may want to have these talks someplace quiet and private. 

It’s also good to time those conversations carefully. Instead of talking to your partner about debt right after work, when you both might be feeling drained after a long day at the office, wait until after dinner, or save talks for the weekend.

You may also want to give your partner a heads-up that you’re looking to have a conversation about debt so they’re not caught off guard. And on the flip side, you might appreciate a little heads-up when your partner wants to have a more serious discussion. Give each other the same courtesy, so you’re both in the right frame of mind when you talk about debt.

11. Make It a Judgment-Free Zone

Maybe your partner landed in debt because of job loss, medical expenses, or an unexpectedly large car repair. When you talk to your partner about debt, keep judgment out of the conversation. It’s important to understand the reasons you each got into debt so you can avoid a repeat down the line, but once you have that understanding, focus on solutions.

If your partner feels respected and valued while talking about debt, they’ll likely be more open to those conversations—and other financial discussions. By the same token, if you feel you can share the details of your debt without criticism, you’re more likely to approach conversations about money with less worry. 

Practical Debt Elimination Strategies for Couples

If you and your partner are committed to getting out of debt, there are different strategies you can use together to make the process easier. A big one is to find a budgeting method that works well for you. Some people like using an app to streamline the process. Others may prefer to create a spreadsheet they update manually.

You and your partner may want to try the envelope budgeting method. Here’s how:

• Figure out your joint take-home pay.

• List all of your expenses—fixed and variable.

• Set a spending limit for each expense category.

• At the start of the month, withdraw cash from your bank account, and put money into an envelope for each expense.

• Take money out of each envelope as you incur expenses.

• Any extra money you have at the end of the month can be used to pay off debt.

Another effective way to pay off debt is to boost your income through a side hustle. You may decide that both of you will take on side gigs for extra money. Or, you may decide that one will work extra hours during the week while the other does more around the house (like cooking and cleaning) so the other can work more.

Finally, don't be shy about negotiating some of your bills to free up money to pay off debt. You may not have wiggle room with your mortgage or car payment. But, for instance, if you call your cable provider and threaten to cancel, they may offer a promotional rate to keep you.

How to Stay Motivated During Your Debt Payoff Journey

One of the trickiest things about paying off debt is that it can take a lot of time. So do what you can to stay motivated while you're paying off debt.

It helps to create a tracking system so you and your partner can keep tabs on your progress. One option is to buy a dry-erase board, and write your current debt balance on it in big numbers. Then, for every $100 of debt you pay off, erase the number on the board and replace it with a smaller one. Or you and your partner can come up with a different idea that works for you.

It's also a good idea to celebrate debt-payoff milestones. Let's say you're working your way through $10,000 of debt. You might say that for every $1,000 you pay off, you plan a fun (but inexpensive) outing or date night. Or, for every $500 you pay off, you'll take turns cooking one of each other's favorite dinners.

Another thing you can look into is finding other couples in a similar boat, and becoming each other's support network. You could even meet once a month to share tips and discuss your progress.

Remember that even with a solid payoff strategy, you might hit some snags along the way. You can support each other through those by reminding one another what your goals are, and how paying off debt could strengthen your finances and relationship.

Common Challenges Couples Face with Debt

One of the most challenging things about tackling debt as a couple is that you and your partner may have different mindsets and spending philosophies. One of you may be a more natural spender, while the other prefers to save. Or you might have different spending priorities. Share your thoughts respectfully, and come up with compromises that allow you to work together as a team.

You and your partner might also feel embarrassed by your debt, or stressed over it. It's easy enough to let these feelings turn into accusations and blame, but try not to do that. Instead, talk through your feelings and support one another. 

Remind one another that debt happens to a lot of people, and that the key is to work together to shed yours and improve your finances. And if you see that one of you is getting particularly stressed during a debt-related discussion, take a break and resume that talk later in the day or week. You’re more likely to have a productive conversation when one of you isn’t feeling overwhelmed. 

If you find that the stress of debt is impacting your relationship in terms of communication and intimacy, set ground rules. Schedule time during the week when you're specifically not going to talk about your debt problem, but rather, focus on each other. It's good to stick to a debt-payoff plan and have discussions about finances. But you don't want debt to monopolize every single conversation. 

When Professional Help Makes Sense for Couples

It's great for you and your partner to sit down together, get onto a budget, and come up with a debt strategy you think you can stick to. But there may come a point when you need professional debt relief.

If you're cutting back on spending and working side jobs for extra money, but you're still racking up so much interest on your debt that you really aren't making progress, it may be time to talk to a debt relief company. 

Similarly, if you're trying to pay off debt together but get overwhelmed, or you're both convinced you'll never be able to get out of debt, it may be time to get help. 

Especially consider getting professional help when:

• Your household has experienced a significant, ongoing drop in income.

• One of you is injured or ill, and unable to work for the foreseeable future.

Working with your partner to get out of debt is a great thing to do. But if your efforts aren’t panning out, don’t let your stress levels escalate. Instead, talk to each other about getting help from a debt relief company.

Freedom Debt Relief can help you understand your options for dealing with your debt, including debt settlement and consolidation. Our Certified Debt Consultants are here to help you find a solution that could put you on a path to a better financial future, so find out if you qualify.