How to Motivate Your Spouse to Pay Off Debt
- If you and your spouse have joint debt, you both need to be on board with paying it off.
- Make it clear that your debt is a source of stress.
- Help your spouse understand the benefit of shedding debt, and set goals that inspire you.
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If you're carrying debt, you're definitely not alone. As of 2024, the average U.S. consumer had $105,056 in debt, according to Experian. That number includes everything from mortgage balances to student loans to credit card balances.
You and your spouse may have joint debts you took on together. Or you may have each brought some debt into the relationship.
If you’re eager to pay off your debt but your spouse isn’t as motivated to do so, you may have a tough situation. Not only is it hard to pay off debt without that support, but if you’re trying to save money to tackle your credit card and loan balances while your spouse wants to keep spending, it could easily cause conflict.
You can take steps to motivate your spouse to pay off debt with you. Here’s how to approach this delicate situation so you can get relief from debt without straining your marriage.
1. Explain That Your Debt Is Causing You Stress
If your spouse isn’t as motivated to pay off debt as you are, it may be that they aren’t all that stressed about it. But if that debt is causing you a world of stress, it’s important to make that clear.
Talk to your spouse about the impact that debt is having on your mental health. If you’re losing sleep over it, say so. If you’re saying no to social outings because you’re feeling isolated from friends while you focus on debt, make that clear. Once your spouse understands how your debt is affecting you, they may be more inclined to focus on paying it off.
2. Run the Numbers to Show the Financial Benefit and Cost
If your spouse doesn’t seem worried about paying off debt, it may be that they don’t realize how much it’s costing you both. Show your spouse the interest rates you’re paying on your credit cards and loans. Then show them how much money you can potentially save by paying your debt off sooner.
For example, say you owe $8,000 on a credit card charging 18% interest, and you're currently making a monthly payment of $200. At that rate, it will take you more than five years to repay the balance in full, and it will cost a little more than $4,300 in interest.
Once your spouse realizes how much money is at stake, they may be more motivated to work toward paying off debt, whether by cutting spending or picking up a side hustle. If your spouse is trying to buy a new car, for example, because the current one is constantly giving you trouble, $4,300 could easily serve as a down payment. So putting that number in front of your spouse might make a huge difference in their attitude.
3. Set Goals You Can Reward Yourselves for Meeting
Paying off debt isn’t easy. It usually means giving up things you love, whether it’s splurges or free time. And if you have a lot of debt to eliminate, paying it off in full can seem insurmountable.
Another way to get your spouse on board is to set goals throughout your debt payoff journey and reward yourselves for meeting them. For example, say you want to pay off $10,000 in debt, and you think the maximum amount of debt you can knock off each month is $500. Whether the monthly amount is a small or large part of your budget, celebrate your progress.
You could, for example, cook your favorite meal every time you shed $500 from a loan or credit card balance. Or, you could reward yourselves with a creative date night. Not only might this approach help keep you both on track, it could also help strengthen your relationship. Nothing helps people bond like working as a team.
Debt Help Is Available When You Need It
Paying off debt can be time-consuming, and there may come a point when you feel like you’ll never dig out of that hole. If that’s the case, it could pay to talk to a debt relief company and see what options you have. They may be able to offer solutions like debt settlement or consolidation. But if your debt is manageable on your own, and you and your spouse work together, you may be amazed at what you can accomplish.
Insights into debt relief demographics
We looked at a sample of data from Freedom Debt Relief of people seeking debt relief during September 2025. The data provides insights about key characteristics of debt relief seekers.
Credit card balances by age group for those seeking debt relief
How do credit card balances vary across different age groups? In September 2025, people seeking debt relief showed the following trends in their open credit card tradelines and average credit card balances:
Ages 18-25: Average balance of $9,117 with a monthly payment of $279
Ages 26-35: Average balance of $12,438 with a monthly payment of $373
Ages 36-50: Average balance of $15,436 with a monthly payment of $431
Ages 51-65: Average balance of $16,159 with a monthly payment of $533
Ages 65+: Average balance of $16,546 with a monthly payment of $498
These figures show that credit card debt can affect anyone, regardless of age. Managing credit card debt can be challenging, whether you're just starting out or nearing retirement.
Home-secured debt – average debt by selected states
According to the 2023 Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances (SCF) (using 2022 data) the average home-secured debt for those with a balance was $212,498. The percentage of families with mortgage debt was 42%.
In September 2025, 25% of the debt relief seekers had a mortgage. The average mortgage debt was $236504, and the average monthly payment was $1882.
Here is a quick look at the top five states by average mortgage balance.
| State | % with a mortgage balance | Average mortgage balance | Average monthly payment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| California | 20 | $391,113 | $2,710 | |
| District of Columbia | 17 | $339,911 | $2,330 | |
| Utah | 31 | $316,936 | $2,094 | |
| Nevada | 25 | $306,258 | $2,082 | |
| Massachusetts | 28 | $297,524 | $2,290 |
The statistics are based on all debt relief seekers with a mortgage loan balance over $0.
Housing is an important part of a household's expenses. Remember to consider all your debts when looking for a way to get debt relief.
Manage Your Finances Better
Understanding your debt situation is crucial. It could be high credit use, many tradelines, or a low FICO score. The right debt relief can help you manage your money. Begin your journey to financial stability by taking the first step.
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Author Information
Written by
Maurie Backman
Maurie Backman is a personal finance writer with over 10 years of experience. Her coverage areas include retirement, investing, real estate, and credit and debt management.
Reviewed by
Kimberly Rotter
Kimberly Rotter is a financial counselor and consumer credit expert who helps people with average or low incomes discover how to create wealth and opportunities. She’s a veteran writer and editor who has spent more than 30 years creating thousands of hours of educational content in every possible format.
How long does it take to pay off debt?
If you attack your debts aggressively (not including the mortgage) it's possible to pay them off in two to five years. If you are paying an installment loan as agreed, the payoff time depends on the loan's term. A 30-year mortgage takes 30 years to pay off unless you make extra payments.
How do you calculate household debt?
One way to calculate household debt is to add up all the debt a household owes. Here’s an example:
Mortgage balance: $210,000
Car loan: $18,000
Credit card balances: $4,800
Student loan: $12,000
Total household debt: $244,800
How can debt consolidation help you pay off debt faster?
You can use a debt consolidation loan to pay off debt faster by choosing one with a lower interest rate. A lower rate allows more of your payment to go toward reducing your principal.
Suppose that you owe $5,000 in credit card accounts at a 17% interest rate and your total minimum payment is $100. It would take 88 months (7.3 years) to pay off the debt and cost $3,759 in interest. By refinancing it with an 8% 15-year home equity loan, your payment would drop to $48 per month. But you'd be paying for 15 years and your total interest would still be $3,601. What if you continued to pay $100 per month after consolidating? You'd clear your debt in 61 months (five years) and your total interest expense would drop to just $1,101!