11 Tips for Talking to Your Partner about Debt
- UpdatedNov 2, 2024
- Couple need to work together to solve debt problems.
- Honesty about income and spending are key.
- Credit counseling can be helpful for couples in debt.
Table of Contents
- 1. Be honest
- 2. Identify wants and needs
- 3. Support each other
- 4. Set goals and reward yourselves
- 5. Know when to seek help
- 6. Seek professional help for debt management
- 7. Create a joint debt repayment plan
- 8. Expect emotions, and react with empathy
- 9. Schedule regular money talks
- 10. Implement effective communication strategies
- 11. Foster openness and transparency about finances
- And… understand your debt relief options
Once you’ve found the person you want to spend your life with, you’ll want to do what it takes to keep your relationship strong. And sometimes, money problems and debt stress can make that tricky.
Even though talking about your finances can be scary, bringing it up now could help you avoid future relationship or marriage issues and foster a deeper and more supportive connection between the two of you. Here are some simple tips for talking to your partner about debt so you can overcome it and build a better life together.
1. Be honest
When you’re in a serious relationship, —especially when it comes to money issues. Letting your partner know about your money problems is important if you want a relationship based on honesty and trust. Plus, being truthful about your debt could lead to more open communication in all areas of your relationship.
If you keep your debt a secret, you could be creating tension in the relationship without even realizing it. Talking openly about student loans, credit cards, personal loans, and other forms of debt with your partner could help bring you closer. And chances are, they may have some debt of their own to talk about.
These discussions don’t have to be too serious, either. Why not make a date of it? You can each get a free copy of your credit report and go over them together.
2. Identify wants and needs
Aftertal king to your partner about your debt situation, sit down with all of your bank and credit card statements and identify unnecessary expenses together. This is a problem you can solve together.
Look through your statements and highlight “Needs,” like your mortgage, car payments, and insurance in one color.
Highlight “Nice-to-Haves,” like gym memberships, cable, or high-speed internet, in another color.
Finally, highlight “Wants,” like entertainment or expensive restaurants in a third color.
Once you’ve created these three categories, discuss which expenses you can afford to cut as a couple. Then, plan out how much you’ll put against the debt each month.
3. Support each other
Budgeting, cutting back, and paying off debt isn’t always easy. But knowing that you have someone on your side who supports you and wants the best for you could give you the extra motivation you need to get out of debt. By talking to your partner about debt, encouraging each other, and committing to a common goal, you won’t just improve your financial wellbeing—you could also strengthen your bond as a couple.
4. Set goals and reward yourselves
Getting out of debt could take a long time, so it’s important to break your ultimate goal into smaller, more manageable ones—like staying on track with your monthly budget, paying off a credit card, or reaching other milestones in your debt repayment plan. After achieving each of your goals, reward yourselves with a night out, a bottle of wine, or a special home-cooked meal. Just remember to stay within your budget.
You could even make a game out of the weekly goals you set for yourselves. For example, one week you could have a contest to see who can save the most money. Whoever wins could get to choose the next movie you watch, get a neck massage, or have a pass from doing their least favorite chore for a few days. Celebrating your victories together can help keep you and your partner motivated throughout the process of solving your money problems.
5. Know when to seek help
Why do couples fight about their finances? Because money problems put pressure on each person in the relationship, creating feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety that can make them lash out or act irrationally. If you’re worried that debt is starting to negatively affect your relationship, it may be time to get professional help.
Some people try financial counseling for couples, where you and your partner talk to financial expert or a representative from a credit counseling agency about how to deal with your debt. Using this method, a credit counselor may be able to reduce the interest rate on your credit card debt if you enroll in a debt management plan.
6. Seek professional help for debt management
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is ask for help from a professional. Taking care of your financial health is not unlike taking care of your physical health. You’d visit a doctor if you weren’t feeling well. If you don’t feel great financially, call in the experts. Debt counselors and financial advisors can give you tips and support to manage your debt. You could learn new ways to handle your money that make a difference. Getting advice from experts shows you’re leveling up your financial game.
7. Create a joint debt repayment plan
Making a debt repayment plan together shows you’re working as a team, not as opponents. Start by listing all your debts, then decide which ones to pay off first. Work together to create a budget that covers your needs but leaves room for paying off debt. The more money you can put toward your debt, the sooner you’ll be free of it. Getting out of debt isn’t quick or easy, but you’ll feel better about making sacrifices if you’re both committed to the same goal.
8. Expect emotions, and react with empathy
Talking about money and debt can trigger intense emotions. Be kind and understanding with your partner. If one of you feels stressed or upset, take a break and talk about those feelings. Be patient and supportive. Remember that you’re in this together. You’re working together to find solutions, not to find blame. Turn tough conversations into a chance to support each other and grow stronger together.
9. Schedule regular money talks
Managing debt isn’t something you talk about just once. Your financial life as a couple requires regular check-ins. Schedule times to talk about your progress and your challenges. Give yourselves the chance to change plans if needed. Celebrate small wins. Your money talks don’t have to be long and heavy. They’re just to make sure you’re both on the same page, there are no surprises, and you’re both still committed. It’s also a great time to give each other a pat on the back for sticking with it.
10. Implement effective communication strategies
Good communication is key to managing debt as a couple. When you’re scheduling those money talks, choose the time and place carefully. Have your talks somewhere private and quiet. Use “I” statements to talk about your feelings. Listen carefully to what your partner says, and say it back to them so you both know you understood. Ask questions and encourage your partner to do the same. Look each other in the eye, and avoid crossing your arms in front of your body. Set goals together and keep track of your progress. Good communication helps avoid misunderstandings and makes both of you feel more connected and supported.
11. Foster openness and transparency about finances
Be honest about your financial situation and ask your partner to do the same. Don’t keep financial secrets from one another. Share your financial details, like income, expenses, and credit reports, with each other. Transparency builds trust and heads off unpleasant surprises. Create a habit of talking about money openly. It’s important to build an atmosphere where you both feel safe discussing sensitive topics without fear of judgment. Honesty strengthens relationships and can help you make better financial decisions together.
And… understand your debt relief options
However, if you and your significant other are experiencing a financial or life hardship, or struggling to make minimum payments on your debt, it might be time to go another route. To that end, Freedom Debt Relief is here to help you understand your options for dealing with your debt, including our debt settlement program which could help you reduce the total amount of debt you owe. Our Certified Debt Consultants can help you find a solution that will put you on the path to a better financial future. Find out if you qualify right now.
Insights into debt relief demographics
We looked at a sample of data from Freedom Debt Relief of people seeking debt relief during September 2024. The data provides insights about key characteristics of debt relief seekers.
Age distribution of debt relief seekers
Debt affects people of all ages, but some age groups are more likely to seek help than others. In September 2024, the average age of people seeking debt relief was 49. The data showed that 16% were over 65, and 17% were between 26-35. Financial hardships can affect anyone, no matter their age, and you can never be too young or too old to seek help.
Student loan debt – average debt by selected states.
According to the 2023 Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances (SCF) the average student debt for those with a balance was $46,980. The percentage of families with student debt was 22%. (Note: It used 2022 data).
Student loan debt among those seeking debt relief is prevalent. In September 2024, 27% of the debt relief seekers had student debt. The average student debt balance (for those with student debt) was $48,703.
Here is a quick look at the top five states by average student debt balance.
State | Percent with student loans | Average Balance for those with student loans | Average monthly payment |
---|---|---|---|
District of Columbia | 34 | $71,987 | $203 |
Georgia | 29 | $59,907 | $183 |
Mississippi | 28 | $55,347 | $145 |
Alaska | 22 | $54,555 | $104 |
Maryland | 31 | $54,495 | $142 |
The statistics are based on all debt relief seekers with a student loan balance over $0.
Student debt is an important part of many households' financial picture. When you examine your finances, consider your total debt and your monthly payments.
Support for a Brighter Future
No matter your age, FICO score, or debt level, seeking debt relief can provide the support you need. Take control of your financial future by taking the first step today.
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