free_water

We can all agree that access to clean and drinkable water is a necessity of human life.  We have all heard the horror story of a friend of a friend who went to Mexico, drank the water and spent their entire vacation cooped up in the bathroom. In this scenario, the seed of mal-hydration has been planted. We then import this seed to the United States, and subsequently let it grow until it plagues the average consumer with the inclination to purchase bottled water. The line between a basic human need and a luxury is now blurred.

We see the advertisements where fresh Fijian water is nestled between a beauteous tropical locale, just waiting for you to take a plunge, lift the bottle, and immerse yourself in sheer and unfettered hydration…for $2.50 per 12oz.

Still not sure if you want to buy the bottled water? Read the back of the label and you can see that it’s processed using a unique filtration system of reverse osmosis. Scientists and researchers will tell you that this water will cleanse your innards and make you a healthier person because it’s superior to all that lower-middle class, bourgeoisie water. This one is only $1.50 for 8 oz. and distributed by Coca Cola.

Or there’s the one in your house where you turn on the faucet, put a cup underneath, and drink. This one is free but does not have the eloquence of Dasani or the je ne sais quoi of Jennifer Aniston telling you to drink Smart Water.

If you can’t tell, I don’t think buying bottled water is a smart purchase. Unless you have a severe hangover on the way to work or you live in a zone where natural gas companies are hydraulic fracturing near your house and turning your kitchen sink into a napalm factory, then just turn on the tap and save your dollars.